So, it’s been awhile since my last
update. Reason being I moved into an apartment just off campus for the school
year that, until recently, was without internet. But we’re online, now, and
everything is going smoothly.
Interesting thing, moving out.
Moving out is like purgatory with regards to your parents. You want, and on
some level need, to be independent from them, but at the same time they want,
and on some level need, you to still be mildly dependent on them. Don’t get me
wrong, they’re probably super happy to get you out of the house, but at the
same time, they probably despise the fact that they have to let go.
For example, shortly after I moved
out I went camping with some friends a couple hours north of campus. Despite
the fact that I should have probably told my parents where I was going just in
case something happened, I did not on the basis that I felt it was none of
their business. (This was, admittedly, rather immature of me.) Whilst I was
gone with my friends camping, my parents tried to contact me, because my loft
bed frame had finally arrived. Not being able to contact me, they decided it
was a good idea to swing by my apartment and drop it off. Now, it is my fault
that I did not tell them where I was, but I still wonder what drove them to
think that stopping by unannounced at my apartment, which is shared with three
other tenants, was a good idea. They could have arrived at any number of
inconvenient and/or awkward times for the other tenants. So, through a lot of
failed communication and irrational thought processes, my parents and I created
a wonderful example of the different positions held by the parents and the
child upon the child moving out.
The worst section of time, though,
is the part just before a child moves out. Like, when the child is about 18
years old and wants so badly to cut his or her parents loose and run around
free in the world. The child desires independence (morally, religiously,
physically, monetarily, etc.), but at the same time he or she cannot have it.
Too many parents think that they
have failed as parents if their kid(s) don’t believe exactly what they believe.
This, however, isn’t a failure in parenting, but rather a failure in their
ideology. For example, many religious parents feel that they have failed in
raising their child properly if he/she “strays” from his/her parents’ religious
views. Examine this closely and you will see that this is not a failure in
parenting. Instead, it is a failure in spreading the religious views further,
which is innately what all religious views (as well as all other ideologies)
wish to do.
If I were to raise my kid to believe
that, say, The Vampire Diaries (a show I, personally, find to be utter garbage) is the
best show that ever was and will be, would it really be correct of me to feel
that I failed as a parent if my child grows up and realizes that BBC television
shows such as are far superior shows to The Vampire
Diaries? No. Rather, I should be proud that my child has grown to the point
where he/she can judge what is good, even if it were to disagree with my own
views.
Personally, I feel that a parent’s job is
to raise a child to a level of intellect and maturity such that he or she can
go out into the world and independently make rational and informed political,
religious, academic, vocational, and moral decisions. Too many parents take
this and add “that agree with my views” to the end of it, and that, in this
blogger’s opinion, is wrong.
Well,
that’s about it for this update.
I’m
Michael, and this is my life.
*Update/Disclaimer*:
I realized that this may seem like I want all parents to be super loose and not
try and teach or guide their kids. This is not accurate. This post is talking
exclusively about the time in a child’s life when he/she begins to separate
both physically (moving out) and ideologically from his/her parents. It is at
this point in life that I believe parents should take a step back and let their
kid decide more for him/herself, even if they disagree with him/her. The
parents can (and arguably should) still be there as a guide, but they shouldn’t
force it.
